Rejoicing in What is True

Given that I have not written anything in almost a month this is not turning out to be much of a blog. Perhaps this next month it will read a little more like a blog!

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 1 Co 13:4-7

I've thougth a lot about the lack of love I see in myself, the church and the world the past month. Genuine love is so beautiful and so refreshing that it is a sad thing for it to often be in short supply. An ascpect of this that has hit me lately is that loves does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth... I've seen all over again that when I refrain from accepting what is true about me how unloving I can be. A couple of weeks ago a situation arose between Dawn and I that really frustrated me. I was hurt and wanted to let her know it. I went to talk to her with the intent of helping her recognize her failure of me. Several sentences into the conversation I found myself doing the opposite (I think Jesus did it for me because it certaintly wasn't my plan) and I began to name some meaningful ways I had hurt Dawn. I also began to describe what I thought the impact of my relating had been on Dawn. She wept. And said she felt less crazy. Do you know I can't count the amount of times I have genuinely apologized to Dawn in 19 years. Oh somewhere around 10 years ago I got I hunch I was going to have to keep aplogizing but I didn't actually know that meant forever. When the Holy Spirit has enabled me to do it well it usually brings some quite beauty into my life. The last couple of weeks with Dawn have been tender, and quiet and beautiful. I like that.
Sin blinds us and makes us noisy. Judging the log in our own eye helps us to see more clearly. When we stop celebrating the way evil is getting us to raise our own banner by being impatient, unkind, envious, boastful, proad, rude, self-serving, angry, keeping a record of wrongs and we actually agree with and rejoice in - name with vigor, passion and courage - the truth about how we unlovingly sin against those we love, it seems life is quieter, more tender and airy. I think perhaps my absence from the blogging world (in addition to being too busy) was due to paying attention to the log in my own eye. It takes a lot of attention and energy. I am glad I was able to do that becasue the subsequent quieteness has been glorious.
I think the church would look more beautiful if we started letting judgement begin with the household of God (1 peter 4:17). I also thing we would be more powerful as well.